The Family Jewels

The Family Jewels. The greatest band of the '90's that your aunt, the guy at the gas station, and a few kids in the UK have ever heard.

The Reviews

Over the years, The Family Jewels have received reviews from across the United States and the world, from music lovers and publications alike.

Songs: Push it through the Middle/Higher than the Government
Album: Chuck and Louise 2/2002
(Website reviews)

2bDefinitelyDifferent.com
"This crazy pop rock; Electro pop?? Band is down right cool. They have the early punk vibe, with simple productions and arrangements. The even have a touch of early 80’s British underground sound. The lyrics and breakdowns are cool and have a great attitude ?? The CD says Outrageous. Uninhibited. and it is !"

Song: Push it through the Middle
Album: Chuck and Louise 2/2002
(Garageband.com reviews)

Review by: Grinch from Cranford, New Jersey
Priceless!
I'm laughing too hard to give this a serious review. Just let me see that I appreciate any song about copulation that can make references to John Paxson. Also, who did you get to make the moaning sounds? The Prince guitar solo is great. Good luck. Extra Credit: Production, Lyrics, Beat, Mood

Review by: JustSomeGuys from Atlanta, Georgia

The beat is really killer. The sorta polka bounciness, is really just a feel good song. Sorta new waveish sounding, but it still works. Whatever that intrument is, in the verse, is cool, whatever it is. The lyrics are a little perverse, but funny as hell. I really enjoyed this song. The performance is really great. I don't know what to say, its funny as hell though. Guitar solo rocks.

Review by: Voldevers from Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Original fun! Nifty intro! Interesting musicianship, I like the edge it has, but it's a little too much for me. Definite Talking Heads here. That's a good thing. But the retro feel might work against you. The orgasmic babe is a cheap trick - It works for me! You've got some hot college-campus playing time in this track. Major Label interests...the band is impressive. Keep at it!

Review by: wotacad from Wigan, Lancashire, UK

A masterpiece. A stylish production that I admire. The mood is also set from the moment the first cord is struck.

Review by: davee66 from Seacliff, California
Truly original. I think your intro could be cut in half for internet radio. It takes a lot of balls to be this original! This is cool. I've never heard anything like it. The woman moaning definitely got my attention. This is extremely original, so you're road is cut out for you, to establish a cult following.

Review by: Fallen_Shadow from Minneapolis, Minnesota
Bent Wet Whacky I really liked it. Not the kind of words you would bring home to your mother. The song was invigourating with all its changes. The guitar playing and texture fit well in this song. Just don't smell your fingers when your done. Great!
Extra Credit: Guitars, Drums, Bass, Keyboards/Organ/Piano, Production, Lyrics, Melody, Beat, Mood

Review by: patrickkulas from Greenville, Michigan
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeettttt.
You guys have a great sound...nice and weird. The keyboards are awesome and I love the song. I wish you the best of luck in the future.
Extra Credit: Keyboards/Organ/Piano

Review by: RocknRolz from Mt. Prospect, Illinois
Nice! Awesome. I was really impressed, especially with the production. Keep up the great work guys, nice.
Extra Credit: Production

Review by: cjdenecia from Rockledge, Florida
LOL pushittothemiddle ewwwww!
A raw Eurythmics sound highlights the intro - but it is way too long - then comes the devo meets monty python thang! With a twist of the b-52's ... this is way different in a quasi-nerd-cool way! Lyrically speaking - there is little left to the imagination - very straight forward poon tang tune - good bass line and almost very appropriate lead followed by a muttered sex talk bridge ... I'm laughing pretty hard by now but I feel the hook - don't usually like this kind of tune but you got me guys! Original in it's own way!
Extra Credit: Lyrics, Beat, Mood

Album: The Family Jewels/1996
(International Publication reviews)

Organ magazine, London, England 
"Hey, imagine the B-52s or a garage lo-fi early REM being violated by a Zuno Men or two but somehow managing to hold on to their pop songs. Alright then it's Talkingheads meets Wizards of Twiddly singing about a fly landing on a Caesar salad...Yeah, we should mention those Weezer moments that sound very American, they're as American as apple pie. Hey they sound a bit like They Might Be Giants with a hint of Mr.Bungle warpedness toooooooo. And of course they sound like none of the bands we mentioned in the review just then, you get the general idea though. This is a rather fine album, a pronk rock breeze, you'll like it. Recommended bendy pronk pop warpness."

Song: Happy as a Fly
Album: The Family Jewels/1996 & 7" clear vinyl record/1994)
(Publication reviews)

#9 Magazine
"Imagine Cyndi Lauper and The dead milkmen at the 90210 prom."


Powerbunny 4x4, New Brunswick, NJ
"Guaranteed to fill Roseland with 1000 frolicking indie kids. Zappa-esque pop with a chili pepper flare. Out there." jeff s.

Terminal Brainrot 
Warning! If you listen to the A side of this single, be prepared to have the tune running through your head for the next couple of weeks. This is one of those all too rare perfect pop songs. The kind that should be playing on AM radio instead of the endless procession of bitching and whining on all those damn talk shows. It's an upbeat, catchy tune complete with lyrics straight out of left field. It's pulled along by a cool sounding keyboard that at times reminds me of the Sir Douglas Quintet (don't ask me why, because these guys have as much in common with Sir Doug as Motorhead has with the Four Preps). It's a helluva tune. Where else can you find a song that rhymes "day old mayonaisse with "creamy donut glaze"? The phone sex song is a complete turnaround. A funk influenced song that at the first listen I didn't care for. Repeated spins proved me wrong. Not only is it a good song, but it's funny as hell. I love bands that do not take themselves too seriously and if you do too, you should own this record." 

Song: Happy as a Fly
Album: The Family Jewels/1996 & 7" clear vinyl record/1994)
(Garageband.com reviews)

Review by: Haden from Gainesville, Florida
Cash money millionares
This song is cash money dude! Rock on ohh yeah this is some tight shit! I love it your music rocks. If you guys keep on writing music like this then the world would truly be a better place. Kids in India won't starve anymore, the poor pauper in Bangladesh won't have to steal bread to live, all they will have to do is listen to you. Keep it going and I'll keep listening. Hey yall might even become famous so don't forget about little ole me when you give your shots out, thanks!

Review by: ywnitemare from San Antonio, Texas
Happy as a Fly in Sugar-Listening to Original Fun Funk rock!
Happy as a fly to listen to this..Just fun! Don't try to relate...listen and it's nice, fun with a group of fun-hearted talent.Roxy influence and good one at that. Needs some production work.
Extra Credit: Male Vocals

Song: Garbageman
Album: The Family Jewels/1996
(Garageband.com reviews)

Review by: sunandmoon from Cuernavaca, Morelos, Mexico
Pretty funny
Garbage about garbage? Can´t tell if this is a joke or it´s for real!!
Special Award: Stupidest Song I've Ever Heard

Review by: Joalby from Chula Vista, California

Shit Yeah
This is freaking funny as hell. MY uncle listened to it and was cracking up...oh, you won't carw about tat unless i let you know he is a "garbage man" i guess he identifies with it or something. the whole intro aspect is cool.
Extra Credit: Lyrics
Special Award: Stupidest Song I've Ever Heard

Review by: DabneyJones from Sonoma, California
I’m cracking up!
Cool intro. You totally took me surprise! I’m cracking up! I love humor in songs. It’s so rare. Hey are you talkin’ about MY GARBAGE MAN? Aside from the utter silliness of this cool song (which I plan to download & burn), you clearly know how to play & record!
Extra Credit: Male Vocals, Production, Lyrics, Melody, Beat, Mood

Review by: Jace from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

groovy song! cool
Extra Credit: Bass, Beat
Special Award: Grooviest Rhythm

Review by: DrPuter from Sorel-Tracy, Quebec, Canada

FUNNY one....
It is really funny. A bit like the bloodhound gang, but i really laughed when i hear it.... Good Job
Extra Credit: Male Vocals, Lyrics

Review by: SimopUT from Provo, Utah
Funny, very funny
Entertaining, a good novelty song that will make you some cash. have fun!
Extra Credit: Lyrics, Melody, Mood

Review by: bristeen from Brooklyn, New York

Funny
This is a cute song. Short but funny. I laughed at the whole thing so I don't really know how to rate it. As a joke? It is funny good. Good luck
Extra Credit: Production, Lyrics

Review by: onthelam from S.F., California
Garbage man blues
Oh yah baby .. is that on oboe?.. it has a really nice tone Funny lyrics.

Review by: TheThing from New York
BEHIND THE LAUGHS- A TRUE MUSICIAN
Yes, it's a silly song, a short song and probably not representative of all the work of this artist. But behind the goofiness is a wonderful clarinet and horn section arrangement that proves this dude knows what he's doing. The lyrics are pretty clever too. I don't think this song will win any awards here, but it's fun and shows some real musical talent. i'd like to hear some tunes that represent the more collective body of work.
Extra Credit: Production